Nah!
Here's a kid's-eye-view of the lesson:
The student teacher says, "Kids, it's time for writer's workshop. Get out your notebooks and a pencil and leave them on your desks. I've got something to share with you, so would you please come sit on the rug." Once my notebook and pencil are at the ready on my desk, I go sit on the rug.
I see a newsprint on the board, taped closed. I also see paper strips taped to the board and markers in the tray. The parent aide is putting piles of little strips of paper on our desks, and tape.
The student teacher says, "I've overheard and personally been with some of you editing your stories. I noticed several of you discussing how your words were being read. Specifically, I remember hearing that the adult reading your story wasn't reading it right. You meant the words to be read differently, in a different tone of voice, so the story would be more lifelike. You wanted your written words to create a picture of what was happening in the reader's mind.
To do that, it might help to think about adding details. Use specific words so the reader knows exactly what you're talking about. [She wrote "specific words" on the board with a box next to it]. Say gobbled instead of ate. Say sprinted or jogged instead of ran.
Use words and sentences to create pictures that linger in the reader's mind. [She wrote "use words to create pictures" on the board with a box next to it.] Say, Her face turned red, instead of, She was embarrassed. Say, my little sister wore a pink tutu, polka dotted sunglasses, and a floppy hat, instead of, My sister dresses funny. Do you have any questions about how details can be added to stories to make them more vivid? Vivid means lifelike. Add life to your story with details.
I'm a writer. I spend some time every day writing. Last night I wrote something I'd like to share with you.[The student teacher opens up the newsprint on the board and reads it.]
"I was born in Michigan. One of the things I loved about Michigan was that sometimes our school would be closed. When that happened, I could play all day. And that's what happened!"
She steps back and says, "Ah, that's a good memory! Did you like hearing my story about the snow day when I made a snowman with a red hat and a carrot nose?" She shows us a picture of the snowman.I didn't hear all of that!
"What? Did I leave out some details? Which parts didn't I write in it?"Then we all told her parts she forgot. "The snowman!" "The carrot nose!" The red hat!" "The deer!!"
"Right!" she said. "This is a great time to show you one way to add details to a story. What new sentence can I add to the story to make that part clear?" Then she wrote a new sentence on one of the long strips of paper and taped it to the side of her story. "There. I'll add new sentences and details like spider legs to my paper. This is a good way to revise a story."She continued until she was sure we all understood, and had a chance to add details.
"There are probably parts of your stories that could use some more detail. Think of your story like a movie. Picture the scene and the action. Then write about all the details that make your scene interesting.
On your desks, you have spider legs and tape. I'd like you to go to your desks, re-read your stories, and add sentences on the spider legs and tape them to your story where you think they'd make your story more vivid. If you have trouble getting started, or once you think you've added the right details and new sentences, come to the round table and I'll look over your stories with you. Go ahead, get started!"
Then she walked around seeing if any of us were stuck and needed help.I went to my desk and read my story. I couldn't think of any details to add. I wrote a few new sentences and taped them to my paper. Then I went to the table. The student teacher talked with me about my scene. She asked me to talk about it without stopping for 15 seconds. I couldn't fill the time! She waited and finally I did it! She noted all the details I said and I took my paper to my desk to finish it.
"It's time to finish up our work on these stories for today. Today you saw how adding details makes a story more interesting, vivid, and keeps our readers reading. You can think about details every time you start a new story. And you can use spider legs to revise one you've started.
Did you remember to use words that are specific so readers understand exactly what you mean? Did you remember to use words and sentences to create pictures that linger in the readers' minds? Would anyone like to share how you liked this activity? Are there any final questions? Did everyone add at least two new sentences to your story? [One student did not, and the teacher asked to talk with him later.]
Let's fold the spider's legs in so we can close our notebooks." She showed how to do this on her example on the board.
"OK, clear off your desks and get ready for recess."
